My birthday vocabulary, reduced to five words:
Simplify
Clarify
Energize
Receive
Believe
I’m paying close attention to trees right now, their shedding, clarifying, simplifying, conserving energy—doing what they do naturally in order to make room for new growth, new blooms. Self-care. I’m liking this metaphor on this first, fall-feeling day of autumn. Sometimes life gets so bulked up, cluttered, and it’s a nice reminder to let go of the things whose time has passed and re-channel energy. A friend recently counseled me this: Be willing to release anything that stands in the way of receiving what you deserve. That “willingness” is hard to muster on the days that I feel like holding tight to things that I want, but don’t need—the things that certainly don’t feed me in ways that make me stronger, better. And then there’s that whole concept of receiving, which has always been such a difficult one for me … I’m not a good receiver. I know this about myself. So my birthday words are really just a way of challenging to myself into mindfulness and new growth. It’s marker 37, and (crazy? maybe...) I’m loving the fact that 37 is a prime number. Prime, my friends. I do believe it’s going to be a fabulous year!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
37 Prime
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Hiatus
I didn’t anticipate a six month hiatus from blogging. I suppose it’s appropriate that my last post marked a bump in the road towards my goal of running a marathon. It’s been a crazy, challenging, exhilarating six months of work and training and overcoming injury. Last weekend I finally reached my goal of completing my first full marathon. It was a beautiful Montana day, a slow and steady run … until mile 22 when it became a walking race. Consequently, my finish time was disappointing. I made the decision to sacrifice my long training runs over the past couple months with the hopes of healing my knees and beginning the race pain-free. I lost some training, but felt good through most of the race. On the bright side: decent potential for time improvement!
This journey has probably taken more discipline and determination than anything I’ve attempted, so the pay-off in terms of personal victory is pretty sweet—almost as sweet as my four-year-old nephew’s little voice over the phone: “Aunt B, I’m very, very, very, very, very, very ,very, really, super, very proud of you.” I’d run 26.2 miles for that!
Monday, January 19, 2009
A Lesson in Humility: It's Not About Me
Five months ago I set the personal goal to train for and complete a marathon this year. My months of training with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Socitey's Team in Training were spectacular … I truly loved every minute of it. Three weeks ago, I was strong, well-prepared, healthy, and ready. I was so excited.
Then, with just under three weeks until my race, I injured my knee. Still, I hoped, with rest and therapy, I might be able to pull off 26.2. Realistically, though, my knee only held out for the half marathon yesterday.
(Here’s where I have to wipe away some tears … )
I don’t think I’ve ever been SO disappointed—so devastated—over anything (which only goes to show how incredibly blessed my life has been). So when the tears start, I have to remind myself that this undertaking of the past five months was so much bigger than this race, so much bigger than 26.2.
The larger goal of the past five months was to celebrate birthday #36 by doing something meaningful—not just for me, but for others. The disappointment I feel is nothing, nothing, compared to the devastation of a cancer diagnosis. This puts things into perspective for me. There will be other marathons for me this year. I know that my personal goal is only a few months and a healthy knee away. But today, I’m reminded that “it’s not about me,” and I thank, with all my heart, all of my family and friends and colleagues, who helped me raise over $4000 for cancer research … because that’s what this is really about.
Then, with just under three weeks until my race, I injured my knee. Still, I hoped, with rest and therapy, I might be able to pull off 26.2. Realistically, though, my knee only held out for the half marathon yesterday.
(Here’s where I have to wipe away some tears … )
I don’t think I’ve ever been SO disappointed—so devastated—over anything (which only goes to show how incredibly blessed my life has been). So when the tears start, I have to remind myself that this undertaking of the past five months was so much bigger than this race, so much bigger than 26.2.
The larger goal of the past five months was to celebrate birthday #36 by doing something meaningful—not just for me, but for others. The disappointment I feel is nothing, nothing, compared to the devastation of a cancer diagnosis. This puts things into perspective for me. There will be other marathons for me this year. I know that my personal goal is only a few months and a healthy knee away. But today, I’m reminded that “it’s not about me,” and I thank, with all my heart, all of my family and friends and colleagues, who helped me raise over $4000 for cancer research … because that’s what this is really about.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Discipline
Discipline is not something I’ve ever been particularly good at—that regular, repeated, focused effort that takes preparation and fortitude. No good at it. I’ve tried it. I’ve tried it in journaling, in yoga, in meditation, in blogging. I can maintain a “practice” for only so long—then I slip, I falter. These past few months of training has forced me to become more disciplined. Since my marathon goal is entwined with the plight and the fight of families battling blood cancer, I have a little extra motivation to be disciplined. And I have.
On Saturday, the LLS team had our 18 mile training run. 18 miles. Seriously: five months ago, I would have thought that ridiculous. 18 miles. I think about that today and it still sounds ridiculous. But yesterday, in sub-freezing weather, in wind and occasional snow, it was actually … manageable. In anticipating these long runs, one of my fears has been that I would feel completely unprepared for the miles, exhausted and miserable at the end of 14, 16, 18 miles, feel like I couldn’t take another step, much less face the prospect of running 26.2. But I’ve prepared well, and I’ve had great training runs to date. And yesterday, those fears went away. I ran well, kept pace, and felt strong at the finish. I’m so looking forward to an amazing event in Phoenix next month.
But for today, I am reminded that even though the day-to-day practice can be burdensome and intrusive and inconvenient and so easy to put off, if I follow it through one step at a time, the little victories along the way are so sweet.
On December 1st, I reached my fundraising goal for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society with the loving help of so many family and friends. Thank you for your generous spirits!
On Saturday, the LLS team had our 18 mile training run. 18 miles. Seriously: five months ago, I would have thought that ridiculous. 18 miles. I think about that today and it still sounds ridiculous. But yesterday, in sub-freezing weather, in wind and occasional snow, it was actually … manageable. In anticipating these long runs, one of my fears has been that I would feel completely unprepared for the miles, exhausted and miserable at the end of 14, 16, 18 miles, feel like I couldn’t take another step, much less face the prospect of running 26.2. But I’ve prepared well, and I’ve had great training runs to date. And yesterday, those fears went away. I ran well, kept pace, and felt strong at the finish. I’m so looking forward to an amazing event in Phoenix next month.
But for today, I am reminded that even though the day-to-day practice can be burdensome and intrusive and inconvenient and so easy to put off, if I follow it through one step at a time, the little victories along the way are so sweet.
On December 1st, I reached my fundraising goal for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society with the loving help of so many family and friends. Thank you for your generous spirits!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Brief
Where did October go? This is just a quick update from my insanely busy world ... (more on the insanity later).
The training: I’m heading into the final two months of training before the big race day, and I have to say: I’m loving it. The double digit miles are surprisingly do-able. It makes such a difference that there is a larger goal—a larger purpose—beyond the running challenge of each week.
The fundraising: I’m over that $3000 hump and into the final stretch of meeting my fundraising goal of $3750 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. A gracious thank you to everyone who has contributed to this goal and to an amazing organization! Your support and encouragement is so much appreciated!
The training: I’m heading into the final two months of training before the big race day, and I have to say: I’m loving it. The double digit miles are surprisingly do-able. It makes such a difference that there is a larger goal—a larger purpose—beyond the running challenge of each week.
The fundraising: I’m over that $3000 hump and into the final stretch of meeting my fundraising goal of $3750 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. A gracious thank you to everyone who has contributed to this goal and to an amazing organization! Your support and encouragement is so much appreciated!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
A Quick Update
It’s Week 4 of TNT training! I feel great and am loving my team, coaching staff, and mentors … they’re all fabulous people. It’s also Week 4 of fundraising for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and I’m so grateful for all the donations that have come in so far: $1815 (almost halfway to that $3750 goal!). Again, thank you to everyone who has donated (and everyone who has pledged to donate!) to this incredible organization. Your support and encouragement of me in this endeavor are so much appreciated!
Onward!
Help me reach my fundraising goal for cancer research. Click here to go to my fundraising page and DONATE to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and the race for a cure!
Onward!
Help me reach my fundraising goal for cancer research. Click here to go to my fundraising page and DONATE to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and the race for a cure!
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