A Lesson in Humility: It's Not About Me

Five months ago I set the personal goal to train for and complete a marathon this year. My months of training with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Socitey's Team in Training were spectacular … I truly loved every minute of it. Three weeks ago, I was strong, well-prepared, healthy, and ready. I was so excited.

Then, with just under three weeks until my race, I injured my knee. Still, I hoped, with rest and therapy, I might be able to pull off 26.2. Realistically, though, my knee only held out for the half marathon yesterday.

(Here’s where I have to wipe away some tears … )

I don’t think I’ve ever been SO disappointed—so devastated—over anything (which only goes to show how incredibly blessed my life has been). So when the tears start, I have to remind myself that this undertaking of the past five months was so much bigger than this race, so much bigger than 26.2.

The larger goal of the past five months was to celebrate birthday #36 by doing something meaningful—not just for me, but for others. The disappointment I feel is nothing, nothing, compared to the devastation of a cancer diagnosis. This puts things into perspective for me. There will be other marathons for me this year. I know that my personal goal is only a few months and a healthy knee away. But today, I’m reminded that “it’s not about me,” and I thank, with all my heart, all of my family and friends and colleagues, who helped me raise over $4000 for cancer research … because that’s what this is really about.

Discipline

Discipline is not something I’ve ever been particularly good at—that regular, repeated, focused effort that takes preparation and fortitude. No good at it. I’ve tried it. I’ve tried it in journaling, in yoga, in meditation, in blogging. I can maintain a “practice” for only so long—then I slip, I falter. These past few months of training has forced me to become more disciplined. Since my marathon goal is entwined with the plight and the fight of families battling blood cancer, I have a little extra motivation to be disciplined. And I have.

On Saturday, the LLS team had our 18 mile training run. 18 miles. Seriously: five months ago, I would have thought that ridiculous. 18 miles. I think about that today and it still sounds ridiculous. But yesterday, in sub-freezing weather, in wind and occasional snow, it was actually … manageable. In anticipating these long runs, one of my fears has been that I would feel completely unprepared for the miles, exhausted and miserable at the end of 14, 16, 18 miles, feel like I couldn’t take another step, much less face the prospect of running 26.2. But I’ve prepared well, and I’ve had great training runs to date. And yesterday, those fears went away. I ran well, kept pace, and felt strong at the finish. I’m so looking forward to an amazing event in Phoenix next month.

But for today, I am reminded that even though the day-to-day practice can be burdensome and intrusive and inconvenient and so easy to put off, if I follow it through one step at a time, the little victories along the way are so sweet.

On December 1st, I reached my fundraising goal for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society with the loving help of so many family and friends. Thank you for your generous spirits!

Brief

Where did October go? This is just a quick update from my insanely busy world ... (more on the insanity later).

The training: I’m heading into the final two months of training before the big race day, and I have to say: I’m loving it. The double digit miles are surprisingly do-able. It makes such a difference that there is a larger goal—a larger purpose—beyond the running challenge of each week.

The fundraising: I’m over that $3000 hump and into the final stretch of meeting my fundraising goal of $3750 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. A gracious thank you to everyone who has contributed to this goal and to an amazing organization! Your support and encouragement is so much appreciated!

Announcing ...

Click over to shutterbird to get the scoop!

A Quick Update

It’s Week 4 of TNT training! I feel great and am loving my team, coaching staff, and mentors … they’re all fabulous people. It’s also Week 4 of fundraising for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and I’m so grateful for all the donations that have come in so far: $1815 (almost halfway to that $3750 goal!). Again, thank you to everyone who has donated (and everyone who has pledged to donate!) to this incredible organization. Your support and encouragement of me in this endeavor are so much appreciated!

Onward!

Help me reach my fundraising goal for cancer research. Click here to go to my fundraising page and DONATE to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and the race for a cure!

Just Me and the BVM

Lately, I look forward to my daily trip to the mailbox. Sometimes it’s a let-down day, of catalogs I didn’t ask for, coupon fliers I’ll never use, bills, credit card solicitations. But often, there is a hand-addressed envelope with a check in it made out to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and a little note of encouragement. That’s what I found the other day—a sweet card from neighbors where I grew up.

These are the neighbors who owned all the farm ground around us where my brothers and I rode our bikes. Flo and Herm. A hard working couple, crazy in love with each other, completely wonderful people. In her seventies, Flo is still the kind of beautiful that is best described as stunning. Even though her vision has been deteriorating over the past several years, she wrote bright words of encouragement to me. Taped inside the card was a medallion of the Blessed Virgin Mary with a tiny safety-pin fastener. It’s been blessed, she wrote. Then: Just pin it to your bra. “Now.” (“Now” is in quotation marks and underlined twice—as in: Don’t wait until race day, honey. Just pin it to your bra right now.)

So I did.

The idea of running through the streets of Nampa with the Virgin Mary hitching a ride on my bra strap brings a HUGE smile to my face.

It's me and the BVM.

And I know I’ve been blessed too.


Help me reach my fundraising goal for cancer research. Click here to go to my fundraising page and DONATE to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and the race for a cure!

My Birthday Month

I love September.
I’m a fall girl.
I love that this is my birthday month.
I was born to September.
I love how the air changes in September:
the crisp cool of morning
the warm-your-skin-in-the-sunshine afternoons.
I love it that my windows can stay open all day and all night.
I love it that the geese are arriving, in formation, honking loudly overhead.
The tips of leaves are changing color.
The days are getting shorter.
I love that it’s dark now when I wake up in the morning
and it gets dark again before I go to bed.
It’s the time of year when light and darkness are perfectly balanced.
Perfectly balanced: I love being Libra. She and I work well together.
I love it that I get to begin a new birthday year every September—
a clean slate,
a new perspective,
a heightened consideration for what it means
to have another year ahead of me
to make my very own.